Tech Support: Honduran style.

One of the things we focus on here in Honduras is sustainable development. In other words, the projects we start are supposed to outlive our time here in the big H. Usually, I do my best to train and explain rather than fix, but there is one problem with this: computers. First of all, computers require an entirely different Spanish. I don't know of anything else you update besides a computer and no other activity requires the use of the word "download". My attempt to explain that the internet uses cookies sounded like a mix between a "cookie monster" scene and a very confused 6-year-old. So, I can't depend on my usual ability to refrence other uses of a word when I am talking about a computer. When I gave a computer class some months ago I learned the basic basics like mouse and keyboard, but I have alot to learn. The good news is most things that pertain to a computer are in Spanglish, so router is still router, but it doesn't apply in all cases. I still get looked at funny when I say server-o or domain-o. Second, about 9 times out of 10 a computer stops working, there is no reasonable explanation that I know, and the only reason I an fix it is because I grew up with them. Computers reward abstract thinking coupled with experience, and that is not something I can teach.

For the most part, I avoid advanced computer topics by just fixing whatever the problem is and saying it shouldn't come back. Recently, I've started doing web programming and for the most part, I don't explain anything to anyone and life is easy. When someone asks a question I work my way through it with "I don't know how to explain this, but it works, do we have any coffee?" Hondurans and I both love coffee.

Today, one of the people Alice works with brought his laptop to the office ( I don't think this was preplanned, but if it was: I owe him) and said his anti-virus doesn't work.

"Why not?" I reply with a smile.
"The license is expired" He explains.
"Was this a free when you bought it?"
"For 90 days"
"It costs money now, okay? do you want to put free one or live without?"
"It is better to have one right?"
"Better? No, more safe? Yes. Sometimes the free ones are not good, but we can put one until you decide if you want to buy. I'll look to see how much money."

He reluctantly gave me his computer, and looking back on things I should have told him he just had to pay for one. When I turned on the computer I see he has 2 antiviruses already installed, one that costs $40 a year, and the other doesn't look like the publisher still supports it. I tell him he can pay $40 and he looks at me like, "are you an idiot? you said I could have one for free." So I am stuck. I have to help this guy. He doesn't work at our office, but he has to visit a few communities and he'll be back within an hour or so.

I get online and start to install antivir, the program my counterpart swears by. The best part: its in spanish, so once it is there, I don't have to provide constant support. I download it, which takes a short eternity, but I get it on there. I go to update the virus definitions and it gives me an error that the license is expired. How can the license be expired? I still haven't figured this out since the program is free, but I search online for a fix for and finally find one an hour later. It doesn't work either. Frustrated I uninstall and reinstall, apply the fix and try again. Turns out the fix (provided by the publisher) doesn't work, they are replacing the file with the exact same file, and niether one works. So I keep looking. and find the right file. and get it installed, and start the update of the virus definitions.

For a few moments I think I've won, and I am so happy I could dance. Then I notice the download has finished and I hit another error. One I don't understand, so I can figure out how to fix it. Something about an engine. I'm feeling pretty stupid cause I thought these stupid things ran on electricity.

So I uninstall it again, and restart, since restarting fixes everthing. What I hadn't noticed while I was doing everything else is the windows update was running, and had installed 45 updates.

At the very moment I am curseing at the fact it is installing 45 updates the man returns for his computer.

"When connected this computer to internet last time?"
"(something that sounds like 1 week)"
"1 week, very odd, many updates, needs lots of of time"
"no, not 1 week, never. It has never been connected to the internet."
"huh" (this isn't a word in Spanish, but I still use it)
"I can come back again, I have another visit"
"well, unless you want to wait 30 minutes, you should do that."

So he said he'd be back.

Another short eternity passes and I get to see the computer restart. Finally. And I do everything exactly like I did before, thinking that af I do it again, something will be magically different. Nothing turns out to be different I have to try another solution. So I look online and find someone as annoyed as me with the whole process with antivir and says he just gave up and put AVG. I think thats a fine idea as well, so I unstall the other virus scanner that never managed to download a single virus definition and start looking for AVG. Besides that fact it is twice as large, and thus takes four times as long to download, AVG works exactly as it says it would. Sadly, I am in the middle of installing it when he comes back again.

"is it ready?"
"no, the first one no work, had to find another, still waiting"
"why didn't it work?"
"well, I fixed one problem, and found another problem I didn't understand, so I don't know, but it didn't"
"you don't know?"
"no"
"I need to go back to teguc soon, how much longer?"
"if it works: 30 minutes, if it doesn't work: 3 or 4 days"
"I can work at the coffee shop for 30 minutes, if it doesn't work, don't do anything else."
"okay"

He leaves for a third time, and I can only assume he thinks I am messing with him. I am kinda wondering if my day would have been more fun if I had been messing with him. AVG works fine, first try, so I figure with my remaining time I should see if there are any more updates. The computer says there is one, but only one, so I install it and let the computer restart. The computer is now crawling from the update when he comes back. I tell him the antivirus is working and I think Windows is updated, but honestly i am almost certain that there are more updates. I tell him he needs to connect it to the internet every 2 weeks to install updates when tells me it isn't his computer. His friend lent it to him, but his friends is living in Taiwan, so it is his for now. I contemplate the fact I spent 5 hours fixing someone's friend's computer and decide I should ask more questions in the future.

May 1 is my birthday, and we are planning to grill up some food on the 3rd. SHould be a good time. Pictures coming soon!